Is he/she serious relationship potential or casual dating only?
Some people do more due diligence in finding and choosing a job than they do in finding someone to potentially turn into a serious relationship. Understanding what’s important to you, your future and determining if your current love interest fits, is very important. Otherwise you’re settling and setting yourself up for failure and heartache. These 10 ideas apply to men and women alike.
Does he/she have what you’re looking for? If you don’t know what you’re looking for or what’s important to you, you should figure that out first. Be realistic about your deal breakers and never expect to change someone, it never works. Better to find the person who already is what you want rather than try changing the person later.
What relationship does he have with his family? A man who has a good relationship with his mom usually translates to increased respect for women. A great question to ask is “When was the last time you spoke with your mom?”
What is she looking for and does that match what you’re looking for? Is she fresh out of a long-term relationship and just looking to date and are you ready to settle down? If you’re looking for something different you’re setting yourself up for failure because your relationship goals aren’t aligned. It’s ok to ask “What are you looking for?”
Does he have a record? And, I’m not talking about on the Top 10 Billboard. Breaking the law can be as minor as traffic offenses or something more serious. Not all offenses are equally alarming. Make sure you know if he has committed a crime, what it was and if you’re comfortable with it.
How does he act when times are bad? When the going gets tough, do the tough get going? Does he become selfish or selfless? When someone sticks with you thru the tough times celebrating the successes together is even sweeter.
What are his professional goals and plans? I estimate a very large percent of people are not doing exactly what they dream of doing, professionally. What is he passionate about? Is he likely to quit his corporate job and instead travel to third world countries providing aid? I’m not saying that’s a bad move; you just need to know the plan.
How does he resolve problems? Being able to have an open, honest and clear discussion about many things is the best indicator of being able to effectively resolve conflict and a good indicator of long-term success.
What are his political views? Interestingly enough, some studies on political affiliation noted that couples with shared or similar political beliefs stay together longer.
What are the skeletons in her closet? As we say, “everyone has one or two or three”. Disclosure upfront allows for making informed decisions and also shows the level of trust key to sustaining a long-term relationship.
The final topic relates to the 3 areas couple fight about most: Sex, Money and Kids.Will he be able to satisfy your libido and vice versa? Not everyone is sexually compatible. Talking about each other’s physical needs will help avoid disappointment and allow open communication.
What are his credit scores? Credit scores determine access to many things in life like buying a home, ability to finance large purchases and plan for your future together. If yours and/or his are not up to par, develop a strategy to get on track.
Does he have kids, want kids, and want more kids. Blending families together can be tricky. There is no easy advice on this one other than to make sure you are both on the same page up front. Falling in love with someone only to learn you have different views on children in your future can only lead to heartbreak.